The top 15 items in the Empire of Texas Constitution
     
15.  Tax code allows deductions for big dogs and trucks.
     
14.  Every Thursday: 2 for 1 beer margaritas at Hooters.
     
13.  No one shall be discriminated against, unless they are from a Yankee state, 
they attend services at any house of worship that does not contain the word 
"First" in it, they are a woman, or they are just kinda dark or different in some way.
     
12.  Barbecued ribs are legal tender for all debts.
     
11.  Congress shall make no law restricting the size of hats or belt buckles
     
10. Citizens are to receive one vote per gun owned.  Two votes shall be received 
if the gun is double-gaged.
     
9. Constitutional amendment requires 2/3 majority of both houses of the legislature.  
Either that or Nolan Ryan's say-so.
     
8. Citizens have the right to bare breasts, except in Lubbock county, but never on 
Sundays before noon.
     
7.  Vegetarians count as 3/5 of a person.
     
6.  Freedom of religion:  you can worship football and/or beer.
     
5.  Civil disputes that can not be resolved in court shall be settled by chili cook-off.
     
4.  Freedom of delusion.
     
3. No citizen will be assessed higher prices for extra jalapenos, salsa, Tabasco, or 
gravy on any and all foodstuffs.
     
2. Cold beer can be used as "testicular temperature regulators" when operating a 
motor vehicle.
 
And the number 1 item in the Empire of Texas Constitution
     
1. All citizens, whether living within or beyond the Texas borders, are required to 
accurately proclaim to all non-citizens, the humble superiority of the Lone Star State.